Allowing Love In Your Life

Have you ever had such an intense desire for love that you almost felt your bones would shatter for the lack of it? Perhaps you were going through a divorce, a nasty break up, facing the death of a loved one. At these critical times, our need can be so profound we fear we may not even survive it. At other times, as we go about our day, a feeling of lack or absence or loneliness may walk beside us. It may be a vague feeling we can't quite name, a niggling sense that all is not quite what we hoped, or more extreme, if loneliness has a firm grip over us.

It is hard at these times to accept that love is all around us, waiting for a signal from us so it can flood into our lives, and also hard to "be" the love you so desperately seek in order to "attract it in". Self-help books can be wonderful but sometimes we stand so far from where we want to be it can seem like an impossible dream to even dredge up a smile! Let alone manifest a whole universe of happy happy joy joy.

I've been thinking a lot about "attraction" in the Ester and Jerry Hicks, "The Secret", sense of the word. It kind of puts YOU in the centre of things - where you can create the enviroment needed to have a magical life evolve from where you are here and now. The theory goes that when you are a vibrational match for whatever it is you desire that is what appears.

I have great respect for Ester and Jerry Hicks. I get their daily quotes and find they often speak to me in ways that so many others do not. But for me, what I've observed is that at a certain point it's no longer about attracting, it's about allowing...

Humans. Crazy creatures. Here we are desperately desiring this, that and the other, and then, when it comes knocking at our door, we bolt like a scared rabbit in the other direction. New job: "I'm not ready to move just yet"; Gorgeous date: "she's too good for me" / "he was too nice"; Business opporunity: "I want to do my Masters next year, sounded too full on"....

So here's a challenge for you: imagine for a moment that it's safe to love.

We're assuming you have done the work and are capable of giving and sharing the kind of love you dream of. What if, now, you simply say "yes" when the opportunity for friendship, companionship, a friendly chat, any kind of warm and generous human exchange comes your way? And bigger still, what if the unexpected turns up one day and instead of running you simply allow love to in? Tired of waiting? Shift focus from "attracting" and invest more effort in "allowing".

Loving and being loved may be easier than you think.


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Allowing yourself to feel good

There is a school of thought that suggests we have been put on this planet to feel good - so if happiness is our birth-right then why do so many people refuse to allow themselves to feel good? It's a tad pathological, don't you think? Ah but human beings! We are such contrary creatures - we get lost in a maze of duty, expectations, dreams and what, right here right now, makes us feel tremendously nourished and well. We lie to ourselves. We find excuses for not doing those things we love with the people we love when we want to... gotta go to work, gotta be a doctor or a lawyer, gotta tidy the house, return that phone call, mow the lawn, finish that presentation for the boss...

What if - today - you DIDN'T swallow the impulse to do something your heart is telling you it really wants to do ("get a kitten!"; "take the day off and go for a surf!"; "enrol in a dance class!")... what if - just for today - you ALLOWED yourself to hear what your heart is saying, didn't judge, didn't tell it to be quiet, and just went along for the ride. Just for today. Tomorrow is not your concern just yet.

Sounds scary? If you need a bit of inspiration take a look at the book by Danny Wallace called "Yes Man" - about a guy who, for a dare, started to say yes...

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Dinner with friends

Dinner with friends

When was the last time you got all the people who care about you, and all the people you care about, together in the same room? Was it your wedding day? A 21st? Or was the last time you saw those special people incidental, a fortunate coincidence, at a naming day or the funeral of a relative, or Friday nights drinks someone else pulled together?

How odd it is we choose to live our lives apart from our loved ones: our day-to-day committments can so easily keep us separated. Is what we do every day really so important that we feel justified putting our priority people second to the grind?

And yet, with a little bit of effort, and a whole lot of openess, it's easy enough to find an excuse to get people together. A birthday, moving house, a rainy Friday, a sunny Sunday, a festival.... anything! All we have to do is choose a date, name the place, and let people know. Looking across a table or around a room at people who make you feel good, who are 100% FOR you, and vice versa is a fantastic buzz. It makes you feel connected, part of something bigger, more significant, special.

And creating that vibe, gathering those friends together, feeling loved and connected in that way... well, it might even change your life.

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