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What is Love? Let me tell you a story about two friends of mine. They are married, with three children under ten. The have the usual financial pressures many young families face as they grow both their families and their businesses. Sometimes there is alot of work around, other times cash is harder to come by but time is more plentiful. They know how to laugh. They are both firmly committed to raising happy, amazing children. It's a juggling act. Sometimes they get very tired and bored of the routine, even each other. They try to make time to be a couple, not just parents, but it doesn't always work out that way. Their work committments see them travelling separately, away from home at times for a week, two weeks, at a stretch. Of course, there are temptations. They choose to trust each other, even though sorely tested occasionally.
The other night I called to say hi and had a great long chat with the husband. She was out and he felt he could speak freely. I am a very long-standing friend - safe to confide in. He obviously needed a willing ear. He was having doubts. He didn't think she found him attractive anymore, they weren't being intimate as often as he would like, he was tired of the constant demands of the children, he didn't feel free. He wanted to cut loose and party and drink and stay out late and not call home and wear the same shirt for a week and eat ice cream three times a day and play computer games till dawn and go on a cruise and meet hot younger women. Okay. Thanks for trusting me with that...
"Do you love her?" I asked.
"Yes. Yes, I do," he said. "But I am not IN love with her, anymore, you know?"
Yes, I hear you. Those glorious, hormonal highs of being "in love", the rush, the heart pounding, the desperate need to just be where they are, touching their arm, knee, back, anything, whenever you walk past each other. The excitement of waiting for them to come home, to spend the day together, to have another adventure side by side.
"What does that mean to you?" I asked.
He couldn't really say. "I just don't feel connected, anymore. She's too busy. She's not interested in me. She's way more interested in her work than she is in me. She takes me for granted. She never even cooks dinner for us. I'm the Mr Mom. I'm sick of it".
"But you love her..."
"Yes."
Hollywood has done us a massive disservice. Life is not like the stories we see on the big screen. Not every day is a music video clip or a rom-com with a happy ending and a poignant moral lesson. Our expectations of life - ourselves and our partners - are coloured by mythology. When the everyday wears us down we rail against the machine, which can sometimes feel like our spouse (except we forget that they are probably feeling trapped, and are not the captor but the captured also).
When we are in the grind we can look at our lives and measure ourselves harshly against the dream, the story we have in our heads of how things should be. As we get older, we berate ourselves for falling short or not being "there" yet or having made bad choices or... just get scared that this is all there is. Under pressure, we feel a need to squirm free, jump sideways, or just plain run... away.
But what if love is not a feeling, not chemicals running through our brain, not Hollywood movies, starlit nights and clandestine meetings and sexy knickers.
What if being "in love" is getting up everyday at the same time, making a cup of tea, driving the kids to school and, after a long day, collapsing into bed beside your equally exhausted partner and falling instantly to sleep, day after day, after day. In it. Totally consumed by the life you have created with your partner. Right in the thick of it.
Or what if love is a verb, a "doing" word... and the act of simply sticking it out IS the love story? It may lack some of the highs (and lows) of the Hollywood drama but it's way more substantial than 100 minutes of celluloid. It's painfully real, at times. And beautifully real at others.
"So what are you going to do?" I said.
"I dunno," he said. "Hey, I'd better go. It's my turn to cook tonight. Thanks for the chat."
"No problem. Anytime."
I'm not sure what his choice will be... but I have my suspicions.
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Showing posts with label peace blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace blog. Show all posts
Monday, May 20, 2013
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Disempowering Your Shadow Self
We like to think we are awake and in control of our lives, right? That we are sitting in the driver's seat of the car called Life and driving it where ever it is we want to go, masters of our destiny, creators of our fates (within reason). But what if it is not "Me" who is doing the driving? What if we are being driven by something that is not "Us"?
In childhood and adolescence we have experiences that shape us, and then other things happen to us as time passes, too. Situations, people, random events can effect our inner worlds, how we feel about ourselves, perceptions we have of "how things are". Without even knowing we are doing it, we make decisions, and develop ways to protect ourselves from emotions that hurt, situations we perceive as threatening, and start to react to present situations based on past experiences. Patterns start to emerge, the results in our life start to reflect our ways of being, our responses, and then maybe we step back and take a look at our lives one day to realise how we are behaving and who we have in our lives does not actually reflect our core view of who we think we are...
Confronting! So who are we being then?
One school of thought proposes that sub-personalities, aspects of ourselves, can dominate us. Reflections of the mind and primal responses, they are not doing the bidding of the heart, which is possibly why, upon reflection, or in response to a critical situation where we might suddenly see our way of being more accurately, we can be so surprised to find that how other people see us is so different to how we wish to see ourselves, or feel about ourselves.
Another school of thought calls these aspects "the Shadow", or "shadow selves", and the viewpoint here is that until the light of consciousness is shone upon the Shadow, the Shadow rules us, and we remain unaware of our patterns or "default settings".
Is it a horrifying idea for you that some other self, not your true self, might be running your life? Some shadow or aspect you have never even seen? Seeing your shadow is no less confronting - and can create huge questions and feelings of helplessness - "Now what?".
Well, the only thing you can really do is keep looking - look closer, become more aware of when head starts to dominate heart, and at each moment - even in the middle of a huge row with someone - choose to follow heart not head, not ego, not that often-flawed instinct for self-preservation that makes us say or do things we regret later.
The idea of mindfulness is not new. Modern philosopher Ekhart Tolle has written books about it, including The Power of Now; spiritual teacher Sally Kempton offers suggestions for how to achieve a more heart-connected state, and avid meditators suggest their practice as another method for facing and subduing the Shadow self.
You see, you can't really make it go away. It's part of you, but it doesn't have to be the dominant part of you, and it doesn't have to lead you into places that do not serve your highest good: away from connection and intimacy and positive expression, and towards drama and conflict and isolation. It is possible to become more mindful of when we are being reactive and living old patterns and stop, and listen instead to the often quietly spoken voice that comes from our hearts.
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In childhood and adolescence we have experiences that shape us, and then other things happen to us as time passes, too. Situations, people, random events can effect our inner worlds, how we feel about ourselves, perceptions we have of "how things are". Without even knowing we are doing it, we make decisions, and develop ways to protect ourselves from emotions that hurt, situations we perceive as threatening, and start to react to present situations based on past experiences. Patterns start to emerge, the results in our life start to reflect our ways of being, our responses, and then maybe we step back and take a look at our lives one day to realise how we are behaving and who we have in our lives does not actually reflect our core view of who we think we are...
Confronting! So who are we being then?
One school of thought proposes that sub-personalities, aspects of ourselves, can dominate us. Reflections of the mind and primal responses, they are not doing the bidding of the heart, which is possibly why, upon reflection, or in response to a critical situation where we might suddenly see our way of being more accurately, we can be so surprised to find that how other people see us is so different to how we wish to see ourselves, or feel about ourselves.
Another school of thought calls these aspects "the Shadow", or "shadow selves", and the viewpoint here is that until the light of consciousness is shone upon the Shadow, the Shadow rules us, and we remain unaware of our patterns or "default settings".
Is it a horrifying idea for you that some other self, not your true self, might be running your life? Some shadow or aspect you have never even seen? Seeing your shadow is no less confronting - and can create huge questions and feelings of helplessness - "Now what?".
Well, the only thing you can really do is keep looking - look closer, become more aware of when head starts to dominate heart, and at each moment - even in the middle of a huge row with someone - choose to follow heart not head, not ego, not that often-flawed instinct for self-preservation that makes us say or do things we regret later.
The idea of mindfulness is not new. Modern philosopher Ekhart Tolle has written books about it, including The Power of Now; spiritual teacher Sally Kempton offers suggestions for how to achieve a more heart-connected state, and avid meditators suggest their practice as another method for facing and subduing the Shadow self.
You see, you can't really make it go away. It's part of you, but it doesn't have to be the dominant part of you, and it doesn't have to lead you into places that do not serve your highest good: away from connection and intimacy and positive expression, and towards drama and conflict and isolation. It is possible to become more mindful of when we are being reactive and living old patterns and stop, and listen instead to the often quietly spoken voice that comes from our hearts.
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Sunday, November 4, 2012
Peaceful Thought For Today: Quote Saint Terese of Liseaux
A peaceful thought for today:
“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”
- Saint Terese of Liseaux
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“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”
- Saint Terese of Liseaux
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Animals Can Teach Us About Peace
Humans are great at creating drama and upset for both themselves and others. This is not true of everyone, of course, and many people do not realise they are addicted to drama, perhaps as they are addicted to TV or soft drink or potato chips. I have been following a lovely Facebook group about animals called "Help For Animals" and each day I get an interesting picture and story (or two!) about animals living their lives and sometimes how they have helped humans or humans have helped them. It is very inspiring; heart-warming.
What that page does highlight for me is that animals have emotions and experience states of comfort (peace) and distress and that we:
1) can learn from their abilities to live a simple, peaceful life and their desire for harmony, ease, community;
2) have a responsibility to care for these creatures who are less powerful in our world, voice less, and so often at the mercy of our humanity and compassion.
They too have children, partners, friends, things they enjoy doing. They feel heart-ache when a partner or child dies, experience discomfort when it is cold, wet or too hot, get stressed out when a fellow animal (or human) is in danger or they are whisked away by a flood, value their freedom and autonomy, enjoy cuddles and affection from their kin or us.
Given the choice, animals seem to choose peace and comfort - take the image of a cat or dog curled up for a snooze in the sun. It seems odd to me that we, humans, so often choose drama and conflict over peace. Perhaps we are not as smart as we think and could benefit from a closer observation of the ways animals live their lives when they have choices, which, sadly they do not always have. Unlike us.
Pic credit: Help For Animals. Thank you. Original picture can be found here.
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What that page does highlight for me is that animals have emotions and experience states of comfort (peace) and distress and that we:
1) can learn from their abilities to live a simple, peaceful life and their desire for harmony, ease, community;
2) have a responsibility to care for these creatures who are less powerful in our world, voice less, and so often at the mercy of our humanity and compassion.
They too have children, partners, friends, things they enjoy doing. They feel heart-ache when a partner or child dies, experience discomfort when it is cold, wet or too hot, get stressed out when a fellow animal (or human) is in danger or they are whisked away by a flood, value their freedom and autonomy, enjoy cuddles and affection from their kin or us.
Pic credit: Help For Animals. Thank you. Original picture can be found here.
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Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Peace and Feel-good Quotes
My inner journey and my work on The Peace Pledge are taking a lot of my energy and spare time. There is a nagging sense of guilt in me for not posting here more frequently. I sometimes find that when incubating an idea or going through an intense period of life experience / growth that I am not grounded enough to catch my thoughts on paper and reflect them back. Perhaps when we push through the other side of various experiences we are in a better position to see them more clearly.
So, for now, I just want to reach out and share a random selection of peace quotes that may be beneficial for you.
I hope your journey is an interesting and happy one.
With love
xx
"If half a century of living has taught me anything at all, it has taught me that nothing can bring you peace but yourself." - Dale Carnegie
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story
"Inner peace is not something that happens to you as some external or future event. Inner peace exists within you right now and it will be gradually uncovered as you decide to flow and accept the events and changes that life brings. In the degree that you embrace those changes, will you have inner peace." - Gabriela Pinto
“Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud.” - Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
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So, for now, I just want to reach out and share a random selection of peace quotes that may be beneficial for you.
I hope your journey is an interesting and happy one.
With love
xx
Random selection of peace and feel-good quotes
“There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle” - Robert Alden"If half a century of living has taught me anything at all, it has taught me that nothing can bring you peace but yourself." - Dale Carnegie
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story
"Inner peace is not something that happens to you as some external or future event. Inner peace exists within you right now and it will be gradually uncovered as you decide to flow and accept the events and changes that life brings. In the degree that you embrace those changes, will you have inner peace." - Gabriela Pinto
“Be a rainbow in someone else's cloud.” - Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
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Maya Angelou - Touched By An Angel
The Peace Pledge on Facebook
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Friday, March 30, 2012
The Peace Pledge
Thought you might like to take a look at another peace project I have been working on - it's the reason why my posts to this blog have been so erratic of late! I have recently created a website to promote inner peacefulness called The Peace Pledge. If the link doesn't work you can find it here: www.ThePeacePledge.org
There is also a Facebook page: www.facebook.com/peacepledge and within six days of launching it had 2500 page likes! It is now tracking close to 21,000 "likes". Pretty cool, huh?
Kind of exciting to discover there are so many people in the world striving to be peaceful and live peacefully.
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There is also a Facebook page: www.facebook.com/peacepledge and within six days of launching it had 2500 page likes! It is now tracking close to 21,000 "likes". Pretty cool, huh?
Kind of exciting to discover there are so many people in the world striving to be peaceful and live peacefully.
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World peace flame
Creating a more peaceful world
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Wednesday, March 7, 2012
You have now been touched by the world peace flame
How many people do you interact with in a lifetime? If you have 10 good friends, 500 peers or acquaintances, and another 1000 people you bump into at the shops, the market, on the bus, etc. each year it could be many thousands.
People talk about pebbles in a lake creating ripples that bounce from shore to shore. I also like the idea of light pushing back darkness. Turn a light on in a dark room and the whole environment changes. You see things you couldn't see before. You know where things are. You have a whole heap of knowledge you can then not UN-know, even if the light goes off.
I found myself in the centre of the city recently, observing and participating in a beautiful ritual to consecrate a specific area for peace. The idea was that with each drop of water that the fountain sprayed out it would help to spread an essence of peace into the central business and shopping districts. The organisers were very high level and community leaders and representatives from a huge spectrum of philosophies and religions were present. It was quite a magical, unified vibe.
For me, one of the most impressive aspects of the event was that they had managed to get hold of a candle lit from the world peace flame, and then shared this little flame with everyone who attended.
As we each took our candle up to be lit it struck me that many thousands of people had also lit candles from this flame. Who did it make us to have been brought into that circle, close enough to feel the heat from the World Peace Flame?
I have posted a picture of my little candle here. Now you, too, have been touched by the reflected light of the world peace flame... so who does that make you? Are you, too, destined to be an ambassador for peace in your world of hundreds or maybe thousands?
People talk about pebbles in a lake creating ripples that bounce from shore to shore. I also like the idea of light pushing back darkness. Turn a light on in a dark room and the whole environment changes. You see things you couldn't see before. You know where things are. You have a whole heap of knowledge you can then not UN-know, even if the light goes off.
I found myself in the centre of the city recently, observing and participating in a beautiful ritual to consecrate a specific area for peace. The idea was that with each drop of water that the fountain sprayed out it would help to spread an essence of peace into the central business and shopping districts. The organisers were very high level and community leaders and representatives from a huge spectrum of philosophies and religions were present. It was quite a magical, unified vibe.
For me, one of the most impressive aspects of the event was that they had managed to get hold of a candle lit from the world peace flame, and then shared this little flame with everyone who attended.
As we each took our candle up to be lit it struck me that many thousands of people had also lit candles from this flame. Who did it make us to have been brought into that circle, close enough to feel the heat from the World Peace Flame?
I have posted a picture of my little candle here. Now you, too, have been touched by the reflected light of the world peace flame... so who does that make you? Are you, too, destined to be an ambassador for peace in your world of hundreds or maybe thousands?
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tell Me Something Happy and Inspiring
I was trawling the Net the other day to see what other people say makes them happy. I came across some long jokes, some tales of little gray kittens and new chicks being born, a lady who was getting married in 2 weeks, a couple who had been trying for a baby and succeeded. I also came across some quotations. These two stuck out for me:
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved" - George Sand.
"Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so " - Robert G. Ingersoll.
In business, the way to get ahead is to either make or save someone money. In life, according to Mr Ingersoll, the path to happiness is to help increase the happiness of others. This sits quite comfortably with the view of some spiritualists who say that we are here to serve - humanity, God, life - and in doing so we achieve peace and happiness for ourselves.
Can you share a happy story? Is there something that always gets your Happy Meter a bit higher up the chart? Or perhaps you have heard a particularly inspiring story - something that helped or encouraged you in some way? Or maybe you have an awesome joke to share! (G rated - let's keep it clean).
Feel free to post in the comments section. I'd love to hear about it.
(Here are some of those happiness quotes, in case you are interested: http://www.bestinspirationalquotes4u.com/Lifehappy/lifehappy.html)
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"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved" - George Sand.
"Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so " - Robert G. Ingersoll.
In business, the way to get ahead is to either make or save someone money. In life, according to Mr Ingersoll, the path to happiness is to help increase the happiness of others. This sits quite comfortably with the view of some spiritualists who say that we are here to serve - humanity, God, life - and in doing so we achieve peace and happiness for ourselves.
Can you share a happy story? Is there something that always gets your Happy Meter a bit higher up the chart? Or perhaps you have heard a particularly inspiring story - something that helped or encouraged you in some way? Or maybe you have an awesome joke to share! (G rated - let's keep it clean).
Feel free to post in the comments section. I'd love to hear about it.
(Here are some of those happiness quotes, in case you are interested: http://www.bestinspirationalquotes4u.com/Lifehappy/lifehappy.html)
.
I Discovered This Cancer Journey Blog
A friend of mine sent me a link to this cancer journey blog the other day. One of his best friends was recently diagnosed with cancer and is currently having chemotherapy. My friend has been encouraging his mate to record his journey and after reading the blog I could see why. This young man has tremendous wisdom. Despite this challenging upset to his life plan he is facing it with an incredible commitment to make the best of things.
He has bad days, days when he finds it hard to see the sunny side, but by and large - I am sure you will agree - the way he views his illness is really inspiring. I hope you find it encouraging as you face your own trials.
Here's the link: http://sharingthecancerjourney.wordpress.com/
Best of luck, Meiron! We're barracking for you. Get well soon.
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He has bad days, days when he finds it hard to see the sunny side, but by and large - I am sure you will agree - the way he views his illness is really inspiring. I hope you find it encouraging as you face your own trials.
Here's the link: http://sharingthecancerjourney.wordpress.com/
Best of luck, Meiron! We're barracking for you. Get well soon.
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Contrast Leads To Clarity
We hear stories about bad things happening to good people and wonder why. Some events seem pointless and painful, for unknown end.
We look at our lives - the ups and downs, the wrong turns, the dead ends - and wonder how we came to find ourselves somewhere so far from where we wanted to be! I came across a quote a while back that says "If you don't change course soon you will end up where you are heading". Made me laugh... how true.
Joking aside, sometimes we can find ourselves in situations that are really NOT what we want. If nothing else can be salvaged, we can still take that utter nastiness or despair and put it to good use. The lesson may be a painful one it can teach this: You know now what you DON'T want... and suddenly what you DO want is crystal clear.
Do you know someone who has yet to work out what they want to do "when they grow up" despite having hit adult-hood many moons ago? Sometimes we humans find it easier to articulate what we don't want rather than what we do... it can take an experience of what we don't to be understand where we would rather be.
The trick then, of course, is to take action. Knowing or dreaming of being in a different place is all well and good, but to get there we will have to change course and start striding away from the unexpected place we ended up, and heading back towards where we want to be.
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We look at our lives - the ups and downs, the wrong turns, the dead ends - and wonder how we came to find ourselves somewhere so far from where we wanted to be! I came across a quote a while back that says "If you don't change course soon you will end up where you are heading". Made me laugh... how true.
Joking aside, sometimes we can find ourselves in situations that are really NOT what we want. If nothing else can be salvaged, we can still take that utter nastiness or despair and put it to good use. The lesson may be a painful one it can teach this: You know now what you DON'T want... and suddenly what you DO want is crystal clear.
Do you know someone who has yet to work out what they want to do "when they grow up" despite having hit adult-hood many moons ago? Sometimes we humans find it easier to articulate what we don't want rather than what we do... it can take an experience of what we don't to be understand where we would rather be.
The trick then, of course, is to take action. Knowing or dreaming of being in a different place is all well and good, but to get there we will have to change course and start striding away from the unexpected place we ended up, and heading back towards where we want to be.
IF YOU LIKED THIS BLOG POST YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:
Creating a More Peaceful World
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Thursday, August 18, 2011
Your Words Have Power: What Are Aum Qualities?
Do you speak the truth, always? How carefully do you choose your words? We take language for granted. We throw words around, playing, experimenting, casually expressing ourselves according to our mood and whim. Often we are quite unconscious of our impact on others, or how our words can bounce back to impact even on ourselves.
Words have power. They shape our life experience, they influence other people's views of us and their opinions of how things are. I read recently that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your communication. Perhaps a rather large statement, but I can certainly see some truth in it.
I have a friend who seems to be constantly on the attack / defensive. His language can be very passive-aggressive; I have watched this past year while his business has crumbled around him. He wonders why people keep double-crossing him or letting him down. I wonder if perhaps he just didn't start out with clear boundaries, accurately articulating his expectations, and then when confusion set in, found his communication style alienated the people he was working with, setting up a nasty spiral, often ending in legal action.
Is it the words themselves that have the impact or is there something else at play also?
In eastern religions, there is a sacred or mystical term, said to mimic the sound of creation and life itself. The term "aum" or "om" is a verbal phrase that when spoken or chanted it is reported as having a profound resonance, an eternal, universal quality. It is said to contain cosmic energy that makes up the very fabric of existence, and resounds forever.
Think about the sound of a bell ringing - the sound gets softer and softer but does it ever end? Or a pebble dropped into the ocean... does the ripple ever stop running through the water?
Om is supposed to be a bit like that. Powerful stuff.
But that's not all.
The universal sound of "aum", according to Indian philosophy, has three forms of expression; creation, preservation and destruction.
In Autobiography Of A Yogi (Paramahansa Yogananda, 13th edition, 2010, Self-Realisation Fellowship) it says: "Each time a man speaks a word he puts into operation one of the three qualities of aum".
Creation, preservation or destruction.
Each time you share words, what are you putting out into the world? What are you creating? Maintaining? Unpicking?
We live our lives on so many levels. If we could become more aware of what we are creating, perpetuating or destroying, and how, rather than being taken by surprise when things don't unfold as we hoped, perhaps we could start to create and manifest a life for ourselves that was closer to our best-case imaginings.
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Words have power. They shape our life experience, they influence other people's views of us and their opinions of how things are. I read recently that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your communication. Perhaps a rather large statement, but I can certainly see some truth in it.
I have a friend who seems to be constantly on the attack / defensive. His language can be very passive-aggressive; I have watched this past year while his business has crumbled around him. He wonders why people keep double-crossing him or letting him down. I wonder if perhaps he just didn't start out with clear boundaries, accurately articulating his expectations, and then when confusion set in, found his communication style alienated the people he was working with, setting up a nasty spiral, often ending in legal action.
Is it the words themselves that have the impact or is there something else at play also?
In eastern religions, there is a sacred or mystical term, said to mimic the sound of creation and life itself. The term "aum" or "om" is a verbal phrase that when spoken or chanted it is reported as having a profound resonance, an eternal, universal quality. It is said to contain cosmic energy that makes up the very fabric of existence, and resounds forever.
Think about the sound of a bell ringing - the sound gets softer and softer but does it ever end? Or a pebble dropped into the ocean... does the ripple ever stop running through the water?
Om is supposed to be a bit like that. Powerful stuff.
But that's not all.
The universal sound of "aum", according to Indian philosophy, has three forms of expression; creation, preservation and destruction.
In Autobiography Of A Yogi (Paramahansa Yogananda, 13th edition, 2010, Self-Realisation Fellowship) it says: "Each time a man speaks a word he puts into operation one of the three qualities of aum".
Creation, preservation or destruction.
Each time you share words, what are you putting out into the world? What are you creating? Maintaining? Unpicking?
We live our lives on so many levels. If we could become more aware of what we are creating, perpetuating or destroying, and how, rather than being taken by surprise when things don't unfold as we hoped, perhaps we could start to create and manifest a life for ourselves that was closer to our best-case imaginings.
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Anger Gets A Bad Wrap
Do you have friends who post inspirational quotes and cute sayings as their Facebook updates from time to time? I do. Often worth a read, one went up the other day that didn't ring entirely to true for me. It said:
"
Some nice sentiments but I think anger gets a bad wrap. It can provide the extra energy you need sometimes to propel you forward. Anger directed AT someone - including self - can be destructive but generalised anger... Not bad. Cleansing, motivating, powerful, useful when well placed.
I can't help but that think that anger is one of those gifts we have been given as part of the evolutionary process... it is designed to get us out of a bad place at the right time, to give us the motivation and power to react differently... An unknown adult disciplining your child in the playground causing you to run to the rescue, a boss who has had an unjustifiable harsh word to say just once too often and finally gets a piece of your mind (or a resignation?), an abusive spouse who crosses some imaginary line and triggers a new reaction in the abusee (to resolve to leave at the most prudent time) - to give rather random examples.
Many people though, live with anger. They do not use it but are used BY it. Anger controls them. It causes them to be people they don't want to be, say and do things they regret, creates isolation and separation from the people they love most. That kind of anger... bad news. No evolution there: pain and hurt instead.
No point suppressing it or denying it though. If anger shows up - in it's most positive, motivating form or its damaging, dangerous form - it's a wonderful clue that right there, in that moment, you have an opportunity for transformation. Taking a look at your shadow self and getting to know him or her can actually be a gateway to great joy - it puts you in the position to choose light or dark, old ways of being or the new.
If you can put anger to work, understand your triggers and do something constructive with the massive emotions that sit there, you can create a whole new life for yourself, a life where angers works FOR you as a positive, transforming force, not rules you.
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"
Some nice sentiments but I think anger gets a bad wrap. It can provide the extra energy you need sometimes to propel you forward. Anger directed AT someone - including self - can be destructive but generalised anger... Not bad. Cleansing, motivating, powerful, useful when well placed.
I can't help but that think that anger is one of those gifts we have been given as part of the evolutionary process... it is designed to get us out of a bad place at the right time, to give us the motivation and power to react differently... An unknown adult disciplining your child in the playground causing you to run to the rescue, a boss who has had an unjustifiable harsh word to say just once too often and finally gets a piece of your mind (or a resignation?), an abusive spouse who crosses some imaginary line and triggers a new reaction in the abusee (to resolve to leave at the most prudent time) - to give rather random examples.
Many people though, live with anger. They do not use it but are used BY it. Anger controls them. It causes them to be people they don't want to be, say and do things they regret, creates isolation and separation from the people they love most. That kind of anger... bad news. No evolution there: pain and hurt instead.
No point suppressing it or denying it though. If anger shows up - in it's most positive, motivating form or its damaging, dangerous form - it's a wonderful clue that right there, in that moment, you have an opportunity for transformation. Taking a look at your shadow self and getting to know him or her can actually be a gateway to great joy - it puts you in the position to choose light or dark, old ways of being or the new.
If you can put anger to work, understand your triggers and do something constructive with the massive emotions that sit there, you can create a whole new life for yourself, a life where angers works FOR you as a positive, transforming force, not rules you.
Tweet
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Sunday, June 26, 2011
Any Kindness
"I shall pass through this world but once. If, therefore, there be any good thing I can do, or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again".
Saying from a little prayer card I picked up at a church a few months back, titled "The Ministry of Kindness".
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Saying from a little prayer card I picked up at a church a few months back, titled "The Ministry of Kindness".
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Thursday, May 26, 2011
My Version of the "I Accept" Prayer
A friend of mine gave me a version of the "I Accept" prayer after a visit to his kinesiologist... but there were a few things in the original (unsigned) version I believed revealed a bias towards the healthy. For people with serious injuries, disabilities or terminal illnesses, or other major challenges, I thought it may even cause them further pain.
...And yet, I could see where the poem / prayer was going and thought that with some work it would become a poem that could be used more universally - and resonate more widely. So here is the massively re-written version I have come up with.
I hope you like my take on the "I Accept" prayer.
I would love to hear your thoughts about it or stories of people you think may enjoy reading it. My friend was given the instruction to read it outloud each day before he left for work, to set him up for the day. I believe he carries his version around with him now. Perhaps he will have a crack at this one too one day!!!
My spiritual growth and learning are my responsibility, and I accept the challenge to see and discover myself through my experiences, universal wisdom, and love.
Within me is the impulse to thrive and the vast knowledge and abundance of the Universe.
I AM one with the universal mind, my higher self, God / Goddess, and ALL THAT IS.
I accept that there are no rights, wrongs, injustices, mistakes – only lessons and teachings;
It is not my place to judge – or to judge myself and others.
Instead, I surrender to those forces greater than myself, and trust.
I accept that there are things I cannot know and do not need to understand.
I give daily thanks for the love and generosity present in my life, my opportunities, insights, gifts, and moments of genuine, precious connection with others.
I am blessed. I am lucky. I am worthy.
I give myself permission to graciously accept and receive these gifts NOW.
I recognise “truth” when I see it, hear it or am touched by it;
It is inclusive, expansive, and governed by love,
And I live by this universal Truth.
I am one with the divine thought process within me and I am open to receiving creative thoughts and ideas NOW.
Love heals all.
Love conquers all.
Love is all there is.
I AM LOVE
I am as whole, healthy and free as the universe intended me to be,
My spirit cannot be broken.
My soul sings.
I find beauty and joy in all that I can.
I am filled with grace and forgiveness.
Every breath I take releases me from thoughts that do not serve me.
I am peaceful. I am still.
I love myself, my experiences, my world, and beyond.
LOVE CONQUERS ALL
I love.
I accept.
I am.
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...And yet, I could see where the poem / prayer was going and thought that with some work it would become a poem that could be used more universally - and resonate more widely. So here is the massively re-written version I have come up with.
I hope you like my take on the "I Accept" prayer.
I would love to hear your thoughts about it or stories of people you think may enjoy reading it. My friend was given the instruction to read it outloud each day before he left for work, to set him up for the day. I believe he carries his version around with him now. Perhaps he will have a crack at this one too one day!!!
I ACCEPT
I accept I am a spiritual being and am where I need to be NOW.My spiritual growth and learning are my responsibility, and I accept the challenge to see and discover myself through my experiences, universal wisdom, and love.
Within me is the impulse to thrive and the vast knowledge and abundance of the Universe.
I AM one with the universal mind, my higher self, God / Goddess, and ALL THAT IS.
I accept that there are no rights, wrongs, injustices, mistakes – only lessons and teachings;
It is not my place to judge – or to judge myself and others.
Instead, I surrender to those forces greater than myself, and trust.
I accept that there are things I cannot know and do not need to understand.
I give daily thanks for the love and generosity present in my life, my opportunities, insights, gifts, and moments of genuine, precious connection with others.
I am blessed. I am lucky. I am worthy.
I give myself permission to graciously accept and receive these gifts NOW.
I recognise “truth” when I see it, hear it or am touched by it;
It is inclusive, expansive, and governed by love,
And I live by this universal Truth.
I am one with the divine thought process within me and I am open to receiving creative thoughts and ideas NOW.
Love heals all.
Love conquers all.
Love is all there is.
I AM LOVE
I am as whole, healthy and free as the universe intended me to be,
My spirit cannot be broken.
My soul sings.
I find beauty and joy in all that I can.
I am filled with grace and forgiveness.
Every breath I take releases me from thoughts that do not serve me.
I am peaceful. I am still.
I love myself, my experiences, my world, and beyond.
LOVE CONQUERS ALL
I love.
I accept.
I am.
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Thursday, April 28, 2011
Jill Bolte Taylor, brain scientist, gives a TED talk about her stroke
Jill Bolte Taylor is a brain scientist who had a massive stroke and nearly died. She tells her story for the TED.com audience in this video. What an unusual opportunity for a scientist - to study the collapse of the brain from the inside out. What she learned - and was inspired to share - will change the way you think about yourself.
Do you choose to live from a left-brain or a right-brain perspective?
I had to share this video. I hope you find it interesting.
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Do you choose to live from a left-brain or a right-brain perspective?
I had to share this video. I hope you find it interesting.
IF YOU LIKED THIS BLOG POST YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:
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Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Gaia Meditations by John Seed and Joanna Macy
I had the great priviledge of meeting Australian environmentalist John Seed last week during Earth Hour. John is a deep ecologist and director of the Rainforest Information Centre in Australia. He also helped initiate the US Rainforest Action Network in 1984.
Idolised by many, and well known the world over, John is a disconcertingly unassuming man with a tremendous aura of calm - ideal if you are planning a few moments of quiet reflection!
At 8.30, after the lights went out, we decided to mark Earth Hour with a reading: the Gaia Meditation written by John Seed and Joanna Macy.
I am thrilled to be able to share this beautiful piece with you on my blog today, with love and gratitude to John and Joanna. I hope you enjoy it.
What are you? What am I? Intersecting cycles of water, earth, air and fire, that's what I am, that's what you are.
WATER — blood, lymph, mucus, sweat, tears, inner oceans tugged by the moon, tides within and tides without. Streaming fluids floating our cells, washing and nourishing through endless riverways of gut and vein and capillary. Moisture pouring in and through and out of you, of me, in the vast poem of the hydrological cycle. You are that. I am that.
EARTH — matter made from rock and soil. It too is pulled by the moon as the magma circulates through the planet heart and roots suck molecules into biology. Earth pours through us, replacing each cell in the body every seven years. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we ingest, incorporate and excrete the earth, are made from earth. I am that. You are that.
AIR — the gaseous realm, the atmosphere, the planet's membrane. The inhale and the exhale. Breathing out carbon dioxide to the trees and breathing in their fresh exudations. Oxygen kissing each cell awake, atoms dancing in orderly metabolism, interpenetrating. That dance of the air cycle, breathing the universe in and out again, is what you are, is what I am.
FIRE — Fire, from our sun that fuels all life, drawing up plants and raising the waters to the sky to fall again replenishing. The inner furnace of your metabolism burns with the fire of the Big Bang that first sent matter-energy spinning through space and time. And the same fire as the lightning that flashed into the primordial soup catalyzing the birth of organic life.
You were there, I was there, for each cell of our bodies is descended in an unbroken chain from that event. Through the desire of atom for molecule, of molecule for cell, of cell for organism. In our sexuality we can feel ancient stirrings that connect us with plant as well as animal life. We come from them in an unbroken chain — through fish learning to walk the land, feeling scales turning to wings, through the migrations in the ages of ice.
We have been but recently in human form. If Earth's whole history were compressed into twenty-four hours beginning at midnight, organic life would begin only at 3 pm . . . mammals emerge at 11:30 . . . and from amongst them at only seconds to midnight, our species.
In our long planetary journey we have taken far more ancient forms than these we now wear. Some of these forms we remember in our mother's womb, wear vestigial tails and gills, grow fins for hands.
Countless times in that journey we died to old forms, let go of old ways, allowing new ones to emerge. But nothing is ever lost. Though forms pass, all returns. Each worn-out cell consumed, recycled . . . through mosses, leeches, birds of prey. . . .
Think to your next death. Will your flesh and bones back into the cycle. Surrender. Love the plump worms you will become. Launder your weary being through the fountain of life.
Beholding you, I behold as well all the different creatures that compose you — the mitochondria in the cells, the intestinal bacteria, the life teeming on the surface of the skin. The great symbiosis that is you. The incredible coordination and cooperation of countless beings. You are that, too, just as your body is part of a much larger symbiosis, living in wider reciprocities. Be conscious of that give-and-take when you move among trees. Breathe your pure carbon dioxide to a leaf and sense it breathing fresh oxygen back to you.
Countless times in that journey we died to old forms, let go of old ways, allowing new ones to emerge. But nothing is ever lost. Though forms pass, all returns.
Remember again and again the old cycles of partnership. Draw on them in this time of trouble. By your very nature and the journey you have made, there is in you deep knowledge of belonging. Draw on it now in this time of fear. You have earth-bred wisdom of your interexistence with all that is. Take courage and power in it now, that we may help each other awaken in this time of peril.
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Idolised by many, and well known the world over, John is a disconcertingly unassuming man with a tremendous aura of calm - ideal if you are planning a few moments of quiet reflection!
At 8.30, after the lights went out, we decided to mark Earth Hour with a reading: the Gaia Meditation written by John Seed and Joanna Macy.
I am thrilled to be able to share this beautiful piece with you on my blog today, with love and gratitude to John and Joanna. I hope you enjoy it.
The Gaia Meditation by John Seed and Joanna Macy
What are you? What am I? Intersecting cycles of water, earth, air and fire, that's what I am, that's what you are.
WATER — blood, lymph, mucus, sweat, tears, inner oceans tugged by the moon, tides within and tides without. Streaming fluids floating our cells, washing and nourishing through endless riverways of gut and vein and capillary. Moisture pouring in and through and out of you, of me, in the vast poem of the hydrological cycle. You are that. I am that.
EARTH — matter made from rock and soil. It too is pulled by the moon as the magma circulates through the planet heart and roots suck molecules into biology. Earth pours through us, replacing each cell in the body every seven years. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we ingest, incorporate and excrete the earth, are made from earth. I am that. You are that.
AIR — the gaseous realm, the atmosphere, the planet's membrane. The inhale and the exhale. Breathing out carbon dioxide to the trees and breathing in their fresh exudations. Oxygen kissing each cell awake, atoms dancing in orderly metabolism, interpenetrating. That dance of the air cycle, breathing the universe in and out again, is what you are, is what I am.
FIRE — Fire, from our sun that fuels all life, drawing up plants and raising the waters to the sky to fall again replenishing. The inner furnace of your metabolism burns with the fire of the Big Bang that first sent matter-energy spinning through space and time. And the same fire as the lightning that flashed into the primordial soup catalyzing the birth of organic life.
You were there, I was there, for each cell of our bodies is descended in an unbroken chain from that event. Through the desire of atom for molecule, of molecule for cell, of cell for organism. In our sexuality we can feel ancient stirrings that connect us with plant as well as animal life. We come from them in an unbroken chain — through fish learning to walk the land, feeling scales turning to wings, through the migrations in the ages of ice.
We have been but recently in human form. If Earth's whole history were compressed into twenty-four hours beginning at midnight, organic life would begin only at 3 pm . . . mammals emerge at 11:30 . . . and from amongst them at only seconds to midnight, our species.
In our long planetary journey we have taken far more ancient forms than these we now wear. Some of these forms we remember in our mother's womb, wear vestigial tails and gills, grow fins for hands.
Countless times in that journey we died to old forms, let go of old ways, allowing new ones to emerge. But nothing is ever lost. Though forms pass, all returns. Each worn-out cell consumed, recycled . . . through mosses, leeches, birds of prey. . . .
Think to your next death. Will your flesh and bones back into the cycle. Surrender. Love the plump worms you will become. Launder your weary being through the fountain of life.
Beholding you, I behold as well all the different creatures that compose you — the mitochondria in the cells, the intestinal bacteria, the life teeming on the surface of the skin. The great symbiosis that is you. The incredible coordination and cooperation of countless beings. You are that, too, just as your body is part of a much larger symbiosis, living in wider reciprocities. Be conscious of that give-and-take when you move among trees. Breathe your pure carbon dioxide to a leaf and sense it breathing fresh oxygen back to you.
Countless times in that journey we died to old forms, let go of old ways, allowing new ones to emerge. But nothing is ever lost. Though forms pass, all returns.
Remember again and again the old cycles of partnership. Draw on them in this time of trouble. By your very nature and the journey you have made, there is in you deep knowledge of belonging. Draw on it now in this time of fear. You have earth-bred wisdom of your interexistence with all that is. Take courage and power in it now, that we may help each other awaken in this time of peril.
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Creating a more peaceful world
One peaceful person is like a pebble cast onto a lake. The ripple effect of that person's peacefulness creates gentle, wide, unending waves.
If we set peace as our primary goal, suddenly all of our interactions have focus and meaning. At each moment we can be choosing to create peace - or create drama and upset. It is possible to have difficult conversations without losing your peacefulness. It is possible to be frank - and gentle - when necessary, without crossing into drama and conflict. It requires committment, self mastery - a lifelong goal!!! - and at times we will not be able to pull it off. Old patterns will dominate us, challenge our new thinking. We will make mistakes, but every second is a new opportunity to see yourself more clearly and step outside to reflect and re-focus on peace.
Our sources of unrest may not be reactions to other people and events, they may be thoughts or situations we keep choosing for ourselves. In each new moment, though, you can make different choices. Meaning that with each new thought you have a new opportunity to choose and move closer to peace.
Sometimes our desire to please others, or protect them, means we don't listen to ourselves, our inner voice that tells us when we are okay and when things are off. I have a friend who is engaged - but doesn't want to be. To avoid disappointing his parents, and hurting his girlfriend, he is reluctant to break it off. Needless to say he lacks peace. In his heart, though, he knows what is right for him. When and if he can eventually be honest with himself, and those around him, about what is right for him, hopefully inner peace will be much closer for him. Although a period of drama and upset, may, indeed, be part of his journey in that case.
Whatever your situation, work, home, self, it is possible to move and grow and embrace a more peaceful life, a happier, more honest life, closer to our individual bliss.
When fear and guilt coming rushing in and you stand on the edge of a major upset breathe, ground yourself, trust, and re-commit to a peaceful path.
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If we set peace as our primary goal, suddenly all of our interactions have focus and meaning. At each moment we can be choosing to create peace - or create drama and upset. It is possible to have difficult conversations without losing your peacefulness. It is possible to be frank - and gentle - when necessary, without crossing into drama and conflict. It requires committment, self mastery - a lifelong goal!!! - and at times we will not be able to pull it off. Old patterns will dominate us, challenge our new thinking. We will make mistakes, but every second is a new opportunity to see yourself more clearly and step outside to reflect and re-focus on peace.
Our sources of unrest may not be reactions to other people and events, they may be thoughts or situations we keep choosing for ourselves. In each new moment, though, you can make different choices. Meaning that with each new thought you have a new opportunity to choose and move closer to peace.
Sometimes our desire to please others, or protect them, means we don't listen to ourselves, our inner voice that tells us when we are okay and when things are off. I have a friend who is engaged - but doesn't want to be. To avoid disappointing his parents, and hurting his girlfriend, he is reluctant to break it off. Needless to say he lacks peace. In his heart, though, he knows what is right for him. When and if he can eventually be honest with himself, and those around him, about what is right for him, hopefully inner peace will be much closer for him. Although a period of drama and upset, may, indeed, be part of his journey in that case.
Whatever your situation, work, home, self, it is possible to move and grow and embrace a more peaceful life, a happier, more honest life, closer to our individual bliss.
When fear and guilt coming rushing in and you stand on the edge of a major upset breathe, ground yourself, trust, and re-commit to a peaceful path.
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Monday, December 27, 2010
Desiderata: Old Words, New Meaning
Odd isn't it that words that can be so familar, after a time when we come upon them again, seem suddenly deeply resonant with new meaning? The good old Desiderata hangs on the back of so many toilet doors and in so many hallways that it has almost become wall paper. After speaking with a friend the other day - who surprised herself by bursting into tears as we spoke about an issue close to her heart - I was inspired to look up this classic peace poem and share it with her... and after it's new resonance for me, with you also. Enjoy.
(By the way, there's a rumour that the Desiderata is not "by Anonymous" and wasn't found in "Old St Paul's Church" but was actually written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s. I'd be interested to know the truth... if any readers know it!)
(By the way, there's a rumour that the Desiderata is not "by Anonymous" and wasn't found in "Old St Paul's Church" but was actually written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s. I'd be interested to know the truth... if any readers know it!)
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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Thursday, November 18, 2010
Love Is Letting Go Of Fear
The other day a friend sent me a text message. It said "You'd think I would find it easier to love than be fearful". Yet again she was at a cross roads in her life and, tormented by her expectations for herself and of others, was profoundly uncomfortable. Her lack of peacefulness was like a mantle she was wearing; a tight-fitting, restrictive jacket she was straining to be free of. You could see it in her face, hear it in her voice, her words.
It doesn't seem fair, when you want something so desperately, to find yourself so far away from it. Career, love, home comforts. It is easy to become angry, moody, resentful. Easier still to start to doubt yourself: "Will it ever happen?", "Have I done the wrong thing?", "Is there something wrong with me?", "Have I made bad choices?". You can get desperate, start to make rash choices, react, panic.
Stop. Step back. Breathe.
The sun comes up each day, and sets quietly behind the horizon. Most of us have a roof over our heads, a bit of cash coming in, a few people who care about us. There are birds singing in the trees. A big wide sky overhead. Fish in the oceans (for a while longer anyway).
Trust that the choices you have made were the best you could make being who you are and knowing what you did at that time. You may know better now, be better equipped now to make different decisions, but back then... you didn't. Don't beat yourself up.
Similarly, that glorious future you imagine for yourself... is it stealing joy from your now? Are you so consumed by the picture you have created in your head that you can't be grateful for the wonderful present? Sun on your back, steaming hot coffee, compliment from a stranger...
I was given a book many years ago by a friend. It was called "Love Is Letting Go Of Fear" (by Gerald G Jampolsky). It's a thin book, less than 150 pages. The writing is big. It has cartoons. Six years later I still sleep with it by my bed. I can go weeks without referring to it, but I think about it daily.
Fear, expectations (future), guilt (past) - they steal your peacefulness. They unsettle your day, take you away from this moment, right now. And it is so important that in this moment we are doing everything we can to expand and love and be generous with ourselves and others. By doing so we benefit immediately... and the benefits continue to flow to us over time... and whether those secret dreams of ours come true or not we've been feeling good along the way.
Unlike my friend, whose sleep is disturbed, heart is closed, and head is full of harsh stories of failure and doubt.
I love her and wish her peace. I hope she can shake off that prickly coat (and I hope I can keep mine hanging neatly in the cupboard...)
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It doesn't seem fair, when you want something so desperately, to find yourself so far away from it. Career, love, home comforts. It is easy to become angry, moody, resentful. Easier still to start to doubt yourself: "Will it ever happen?", "Have I done the wrong thing?", "Is there something wrong with me?", "Have I made bad choices?". You can get desperate, start to make rash choices, react, panic.
Stop. Step back. Breathe.
The sun comes up each day, and sets quietly behind the horizon. Most of us have a roof over our heads, a bit of cash coming in, a few people who care about us. There are birds singing in the trees. A big wide sky overhead. Fish in the oceans (for a while longer anyway).
Trust that the choices you have made were the best you could make being who you are and knowing what you did at that time. You may know better now, be better equipped now to make different decisions, but back then... you didn't. Don't beat yourself up.
Similarly, that glorious future you imagine for yourself... is it stealing joy from your now? Are you so consumed by the picture you have created in your head that you can't be grateful for the wonderful present? Sun on your back, steaming hot coffee, compliment from a stranger...
I was given a book many years ago by a friend. It was called "Love Is Letting Go Of Fear" (by Gerald G Jampolsky). It's a thin book, less than 150 pages. The writing is big. It has cartoons. Six years later I still sleep with it by my bed. I can go weeks without referring to it, but I think about it daily.
Fear, expectations (future), guilt (past) - they steal your peacefulness. They unsettle your day, take you away from this moment, right now. And it is so important that in this moment we are doing everything we can to expand and love and be generous with ourselves and others. By doing so we benefit immediately... and the benefits continue to flow to us over time... and whether those secret dreams of ours come true or not we've been feeling good along the way.
Unlike my friend, whose sleep is disturbed, heart is closed, and head is full of harsh stories of failure and doubt.
I love her and wish her peace. I hope she can shake off that prickly coat (and I hope I can keep mine hanging neatly in the cupboard...)
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Thursday, September 30, 2010
Still Waters Run Deep
Your life can change in a moment. An event. A realisation. A word from a friend. Each of these things can cause a massive, instantaneous shift in you. From that moment on everything you think and do is shaped by that critical moment. You are changed forever, transformed in some way.
For most people though, these moments are rare, and for many, never occur. Instead, we go about our business, and kind of chip away at the Big Picture. Perhaps we hope to slowly build on each experience and opportunity, eventually reaching some kind of wisdom or mastery, or achieving recognition from our boss, or financial reward. Maybe we get a pay rise each year, maybe some years we go backwards a bit.
Is it true that what you have unfolding in your life today is a product of everything that has gone before? Every thought you've had, choice you've made, word you've spoken? Plus a few random external events - such as the country you were born in!
Perhaps you think the "slow building" idea is too optimistic? You could say: "I've been saving my pennies for years but still can't afford a holiday house by the beach"; "I'm a good person - why do my friends keep taking advantage of my generosity?".
What if the chipping-away-it thing is less about the external world (career, possessions, recognition) and a everything to do with you, honing who YOU are and want to be... getting a little bit better everyday at being consistently that person: more generous, more considered, less angry, more tolerant, less reactive, more fun, calmer, more hopeful, more engaged (whatever qualities matter to you).
If you build on YOU over time, then, at some point it is simply a matter of choosing where you put your attention: campaigning for a new park in your local area, building a business, becoming a salsa dancing teacher... whatever floats your boat! You'll know that however you tackle the task at hand it will be done by the best you it is possible for you to be at that time.
Impact? Explosive. Think of this "best yourself" as a river, wide and deep, life-giving; and your project, an opportunity for creative expression, the waterfall. Beautiful, powerful, profound.
After years of flowing quietly through the countryside, suddenly the river has it's moment. And when you shine, the world benefits.
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For most people though, these moments are rare, and for many, never occur. Instead, we go about our business, and kind of chip away at the Big Picture. Perhaps we hope to slowly build on each experience and opportunity, eventually reaching some kind of wisdom or mastery, or achieving recognition from our boss, or financial reward. Maybe we get a pay rise each year, maybe some years we go backwards a bit.
Is it true that what you have unfolding in your life today is a product of everything that has gone before? Every thought you've had, choice you've made, word you've spoken? Plus a few random external events - such as the country you were born in!
Perhaps you think the "slow building" idea is too optimistic? You could say: "I've been saving my pennies for years but still can't afford a holiday house by the beach"; "I'm a good person - why do my friends keep taking advantage of my generosity?".
What if the chipping-away-it thing is less about the external world (career, possessions, recognition) and a everything to do with you, honing who YOU are and want to be... getting a little bit better everyday at being consistently that person: more generous, more considered, less angry, more tolerant, less reactive, more fun, calmer, more hopeful, more engaged (whatever qualities matter to you).
If you build on YOU over time, then, at some point it is simply a matter of choosing where you put your attention: campaigning for a new park in your local area, building a business, becoming a salsa dancing teacher... whatever floats your boat! You'll know that however you tackle the task at hand it will be done by the best you it is possible for you to be at that time.
Impact? Explosive. Think of this "best yourself" as a river, wide and deep, life-giving; and your project, an opportunity for creative expression, the waterfall. Beautiful, powerful, profound.
After years of flowing quietly through the countryside, suddenly the river has it's moment. And when you shine, the world benefits.
Tweet
IF YOU LIKED THIS YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE:
Poem By Hafiz: About That Moon
Quotes About Love
How To Practice Gratitude
.
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