Allowing Love In Your Life

Have you ever had such an intense desire for love that you almost felt your bones would shatter for the lack of it? Perhaps you were going through a divorce, a nasty break up, facing the death of a loved one. At these critical times, our need can be so profound we fear we may not even survive it. At other times, as we go about our day, a feeling of lack or absence or loneliness may walk beside us. It may be a vague feeling we can't quite name, a niggling sense that all is not quite what we hoped, or more extreme, if loneliness has a firm grip over us.

It is hard at these times to accept that love is all around us, waiting for a signal from us so it can flood into our lives, and also hard to "be" the love you so desperately seek in order to "attract it in". Self-help books can be wonderful but sometimes we stand so far from where we want to be it can seem like an impossible dream to even dredge up a smile! Let alone manifest a whole universe of happy happy joy joy.

I've been thinking a lot about "attraction" in the Ester and Jerry Hicks, "The Secret", sense of the word. It kind of puts YOU in the centre of things - where you can create the enviroment needed to have a magical life evolve from where you are here and now. The theory goes that when you are a vibrational match for whatever it is you desire that is what appears.

I have great respect for Ester and Jerry Hicks. I get their daily quotes and find they often speak to me in ways that so many others do not. But for me, what I've observed is that at a certain point it's no longer about attracting, it's about allowing...

Humans. Crazy creatures. Here we are desperately desiring this, that and the other, and then, when it comes knocking at our door, we bolt like a scared rabbit in the other direction. New job: "I'm not ready to move just yet"; Gorgeous date: "she's too good for me" / "he was too nice"; Business opporunity: "I want to do my Masters next year, sounded too full on"....

So here's a challenge for you: imagine for a moment that it's safe to love.

We're assuming you have done the work and are capable of giving and sharing the kind of love you dream of. What if, now, you simply say "yes" when the opportunity for friendship, companionship, a friendly chat, any kind of warm and generous human exchange comes your way? And bigger still, what if the unexpected turns up one day and instead of running you simply allow love to in? Tired of waiting? Shift focus from "attracting" and invest more effort in "allowing".

Loving and being loved may be easier than you think.


IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ:
God speaks in whispers
Good books about happiness
Crazy happy silly ways to make yourself instantly happier

Quote Margaret Silf - "God Speaks in Whispers"

I'm intrigued by the notion that all the answers to all the questions we could possibly ask already exist; that as the question forms so too does the response. It's a bit of a quantum physics kind of an idea. Certainly there is a heck of a lot of information circulating the planet these days - apparently if you printed out all the information on the World Wide Web it would take a single person 59 million years to read it. Cute statistics, no?

I came across a quote the other day from Margaret Silf, a committed Catholic spiritualist, writer and speaker. It was, quite simply, "God speaks in whispers". A nice idea. I like the idea of "God" speaking to me, or the universe putting information infront of me as I need it. It also makes sense to me that the answer or insight may be obvious but because life can be so busy and confusing and noisy the information may not be heard... if "God" is whispering.

Except that sometimes God doesn't whisper. I've noticed that if you continue to pursue a path or line of thinking that is not right for you, sometimes the universe gets more insistent, louder. If you still don't pay attention then it starts to make things very very obvious... till even a sleep-walker has to waken and pay attention to their surroundings. A sudden change of job, a twisted ankle, a phone call out of the blue, a song on the radio just as you were thinking about something the song relates to, a flat tire... circumstance, co-incidence... that kind of chatter has all kinds of names. 

Here's a challenge for you. Next time it happens to you, pay attention: maybe someone is trying to tell you something.

IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ:
Quote - Anthony Robbins - results
Crazy playful silly ways to feel instantly happier

Do you hear what people tell you?

Sometimes we only half listen, or listen but then filter the words, giving them a meaning that does not actually reflect the speaker's intention. Assuming your friends and acquaintenances speak the truth as they see it and are not deliberately distorting things for their own benefit, has it occurred to you that their observations of you and your situation may accurately identify some positive actions you could take? Or maybe just add a couple of items to the shopping list of possible actions you need to consider. Not the ones you THINK they mean... but what they literally SAID.

A friend of a friend regularly shares very personal reflections via group emails, Facebook status updates and notes. At times she seems rather down, morose, negative. Generally people write back warm encouraging comments saying how beautiful and thoughtful her poetry is, how insightful, how sensitive... 'cause they are nice people, and it is a gift of sorts to be part of such an intimate sharing.

Lately, though, I have noticed people starting to respond differently ...today one guy commented "Choose your own adventure, Claudia". I wonder if Claudia will hear him? I also wonder what Claudia will hear?

Stepping back a bit, when your friends offer you solutions or insights, what do you hear? "I write beautiful, clever poetry" or "I need to put more energy into creating joy not pain"?


IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ:
Practicing gratitude... a quick 'how to"!
Finding joy in each day

Manifesting your dreams: Wouldn't it be nice if...

...we could eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner... without feeling sick, getting diabetes or putting on weight! Oh yes. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone you met in the street was already a friend and said hello to you... yes! Wouldn't it be nice if you made a million dollars this week? Scored a scholarship? If people in all the cities, towns, suburbs and villages of the world lived harmonously and happily together. Wouldn't it be nice if your girlfriend bought you your dream car today and gave you the keys tonight as a surprise? Yes.

What's your "wouldn't it be nice if"?

Can you feel already how playing the game of "wouldn't it be nice if" can change your mood? Make you feel happier? Perhaps even make it easier for good things to come to you.

When you are feeling good it's kind of easier to keep the good feeling building. Sometimes little games like "wouldn't it be nice if" can help kick start that "feeling good". And then we can let it gather momentum and before you know it we have more happy peaceful days than not!

But there's one trick - to start off, keep your day-dreams believable - so close to real you can see it clearly in your mind's eye - don't open up that can of worms called "longing". If you day-dream with longing - a pervading sense of lack - the power of "wouldn't it be nice if" can be lost. Keep it soft.

Here's an example. Driving home in the car during peak hour rather than saying "wouldn't it be nice if all these cars would just go away and I could be home in 10 minutes" (very unlikely to happen in that moment) try "wouldn't it be nice if I had a surprise parcel waiting at home for me when I get there" or "wouldn't it be nice if Sally and Bob could come with us on that next hiking trip".

Play with it. See if you can make it work for you... wouldn't it be nice if you could!

IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ:
Allowing yourself to feel good
Books about happiness

Practicing gratitude... a quick "how to"!

If we want to be able to kick a goal or play the guitar well we have to practice but how often do you consciously choose to practice being grateful? Why would you? Of all the things I've read and crazy things I have tried this is the one simple trick I have learned that is not just instantly gratifying but, over time, profoundly life improving!

Maybe you don't feel grateful for very much? Life may have dealt you one too many hard blows. Plenty of people feel pretty knocked around by life, or ground down by the rat race or are simply heart broken or devastated in some other way. That's okay - with this little experiment it's good to start small! Ease yourself in...

This is not a mind game - we're not talking about spinning things so they have a positive twist, mastering your mind and learning to talk like some self-help apostle.

This is not about smoke and mirrors, positive self talk or any of that other stuff - which can all be useful and has its place. This is about tapping into and acknowledging a genuine feeling. Something that is already in you but does't get a lot of air play. A sincere honest "thank you" that you don't have to force or talk yourself into... we're just working at getting into the habit of actually acknowledging the good stuff that unfolds in your life. Even just the tiniest things.

Some easy ways to begin may be: "thank you for giving me that parking space when I was runnng late", "thank you for this glorious sunny day!", "thank you for putting such a sweet old lady next to me on the bus today", "thanks for letting me get inside the house before it started to rain", "thanks for giving me such adorable children", "thanks for letting me be born in this country", "thanks for saving me $1 a kilo for those tomatoes today" etc...

It's takes a little time - a moment of reflection as life unfolds - to get into the swing of practicing gratitude. It requires that as something good happens you take that time to go "Ah! Thank you!". Who (or what) you choose to thank is up to you - maybe God or Allah or the Universe or Mother Mary or Krishna or Isis or the Archangel Michael or... (you get the idea!)...

...but instantly, the moment you stop, observe and acknowledge that particular gift, big or small, something happens in you: you feel grateful... and peace and happiness follow close behind. Magic.

IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO READ:
Allowing yourself to feel good
Quote - Alex Noble - spirit of the journey
Crazy playful silly ways to feel instantly happier

Allowing yourself to feel good

There is a school of thought that suggests we have been put on this planet to feel good - so if happiness is our birth-right then why do so many people refuse to allow themselves to feel good? It's a tad pathological, don't you think? Ah but human beings! We are such contrary creatures - we get lost in a maze of duty, expectations, dreams and what, right here right now, makes us feel tremendously nourished and well. We lie to ourselves. We find excuses for not doing those things we love with the people we love when we want to... gotta go to work, gotta be a doctor or a lawyer, gotta tidy the house, return that phone call, mow the lawn, finish that presentation for the boss...

What if - today - you DIDN'T swallow the impulse to do something your heart is telling you it really wants to do ("get a kitten!"; "take the day off and go for a surf!"; "enrol in a dance class!")... what if - just for today - you ALLOWED yourself to hear what your heart is saying, didn't judge, didn't tell it to be quiet, and just went along for the ride. Just for today. Tomorrow is not your concern just yet.

Sounds scary? If you need a bit of inspiration take a look at the book by Danny Wallace called "Yes Man" - about a guy who, for a dare, started to say yes...

IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT LIKE TO READ:
Crazy silly ways to make yourself happier
I love colouring in - what do you love?
Dinner with friends

Quote - Alex Noble: "spirit of the journey"

I came across this quote today and although I have read similar things before for some reason this quote, today, resonated with me. "Success is not a place at which one arrives but rather the spirit with which one undertakes and continues the journey."

Lately I have been thinking very carefully about the concept of intention and being careful how I apply it. I guess it is a type of "mindfulness". Before I repsond to an email, a text message, a comment I have been catching myself and checking in to see if the spirit in which I am about to respond is concurrent with my values.... in simple terms: is my intenetion good!!!!? Am I wishing that person well? Am I expressing compassion? Practicing gratitude?

If the answer is "yes" I proceed. If not... well... I consider why.

It's quite interesting taking the time to ponder the "not". I am learning a lot about myself, and suddenly I find I have choices I didn't have before. I can consciously choose what to work on and what I am putting out into the world.

As I get better at it, hopefully the good stuff I am intending will be amplified and the "not-so-good" stuff will fall away. And what a fun game to be playing! Goodness knows where it could lead!

IF YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING YOU MIGHT LIKE TO READ:
Quote - Anthony Robbins - results
Allowing yourself to feel good